Justin Roiland Is Ruined, Morty!

Justin Roiland is ruined! We’re excited to see his downfall and may many others go with him.

Bad man

Who would have thought a man who makes a cartoon pilot about an old man asking his grandson to blow him for science could actually be a bad guy?

I mean if you’re going to parody Back to the Future that’s the most relatable thing a person can conjure!

This is of course sarcasm, it’s now common knowledge that everyone who likes Rick and Morty is probably a pedophile.

Man or man child

The worship of man children like Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland enables this behavior in Hollyweird. The fans are broken losers looking for false idols in Hollywood and seeking successful male role models.

They are fed a tale of glamor and lies then are lead astray by these Hollyweird luminaries into their respective alleged torture dungeons where you have to watch DVDs of the British version of The Office.

Allies in grime

Who knows what sordid affairs Dan Harmon is up to? His money and connections keep him safe eating turkey legs in the bathtub like the slovenly ugly fuck he is.

Roiland was a mere voice actor before Harmon rolled out of bed at 3 PM and decided to say “yeah fuck it, I need money” as he spat Spaghetti-Os over Roilands head with green stink lines coming out of his butt.

Adultswim was going through some changes after having new corporate masters and the execs decided it was high time to be the toilet flushing network. Pumping out celebrity shows that were filmed in LOL-ironic public access style, rudimentary and violent cartoons without any redeeming value, and of course everyone’s favorite schlock shock jock show, Rick and Morty.

There’s a reason they’re rebooting Aqua Teen Hunger Force. The rest of their shows are now empty filler without any charm or old shows syndicated from other networks. They’re banking on your nostalgia here.

Speaking of nostalgia

Remember the McDonald’s chicken nugget sauce incident where Rick and Morty fans thought it’d be super cool to throw a toddler tantrum on film for their hero Justin Roiland? It didn’t work. He was probably too busy day drinking to care about the people stupid enough to believe he’s creative.

Meanwhile Harmon’s other shows are boring and Harmon himself is an embarrassing, bloated, elderly fat guy who isn’t even as cool as the people who watch Rick and Morty. He’s so creepy. We hope he chokes on Great Value Snack Mix, the worst fate known to man.

Roiland will probably get a slap on the wrist and make a new show that’s a parody of a family film with sexual overtones. Nope, nothing wrong with him, continue to worship him because he has money.

Dear Rick and Morty fans:

Your step-dad is tired of you living at home, you’re 27 now, and it’s time to get your Adventure Time sleeping bag and fuck off into adulthood. You’re always asking for money and you have to go get a job! Stop crying about your show getting a new voice actor and start working on your sign spinning skills.

You can’t replace talent and skill, he had neither

When Justin Roiland isn’t committing abuse, he is insulting the animators who make his show by saying “FUCK THE UNION” to his reddit sycophants. As if he had anything to do with his own success.

Doc and Mharti, the edge lord prototype for Rick and Morty

The timbres of his voice match that of any alcoholic Best Buy employee and he is easily replaceable with another loser with arrested development syndrome.

The next stunt Rick and Morty fans should do is jump into a frozen lake and save their parents the trouble of having to evict them. Roiland should lead them in their icy fate removing a few turds from this toilet bowl earth.

The fans are the worst people on earth!

Guess who else is a fan of Rick and Morty? Louis CK. That’s right! The sexual deviant disgraced comedian Louis CK. The same Louis CK who makes women who work with him watch him jerk off.

Every Rick and Morty fan is now suspect, they should be fired from their jobs (if any), ousted from their homes, and sent to Guantanamo Bay.

These people are cultural terrorists and they belong in jail.

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Writer/Contributor. Likes working out, drinking slime, and hassling nerds.