Louis CK’s ‘Fourth of July’ Sucks!

Louis CK is back, proving once again that cancel culture works! Who needs due process when you have Twitter?

Louis CK has teamed up with hackney “comedian” Joe List to produce a movie that sounds like a movie that’d be on Saturday at noon on the Independent Film channel, sandwiched between two reruns of Portlandia.

Where he got canceled for masturbating in front of coworkers, Louis CK has figuratively turned all of his masturbatory skills on his audience. DISGUSTING! GET ME A LAWYER!

The “film”

Joe List plays a recovering alcoholic even though he looks like a 14 year old with a fake beard made up of chopped up hair clippings.

Then Louis CK has taken it upon himself to play Joe List’s character’s therapist, as if Louis himself is in any position to give advice. Even if Louis was trying to rehabilitate his own image as an actor/director, this seems rather hypocritical coming from him. The two scenes he was in even felt like too much.

Everything Louis CK does now acknowledges the elephant in the room, but you can’t forget that same elephant keeps dropping turds right into our living room. You can tell that people hate him now and he knows it. He feels it. It oozes into everything he does.

He could take his millions and fuck off, but he won’t. Why? He’s an egotistical prick who likes masturbating in front of ladies. I don’t know what they do for sexual education in Boston, but that’s not how it works!

List Is Bad

Joe List himself is awful. If Louis CK were a comedian in his prime in the 90s, he wouldn’t associate with a hack like Joe List. Joe List reguarly teams up with his co-dependent comedy boyfriend, Mark Normand where they take turns pretending to be interesting with tales of travel.

You rubes ever been on an airplane before?

The two always come off as baseball announcers who have never seen the game, both in presentation and timbre.

Joe List has bravely enlisted his wife Sarah to play his movie wife Beth. Very cool! Now you won’t have to smooch anyone other than Mark Normand!

Made in the twilight zone

This whole thing is just bizarre. I feel bad for these folks, because they are really going out of their way to humiliate themselves on purpose. Not only did Louis sell them out, and himself out, but now the country will watch them being “artsy” in something that sounds like a bunch of perverts remaking the movie Sideways in a Boston way.

The thing about Boston comedians is they’re insecure that they didn’t come up in New York City where to be funny you have to be more than angry person with a regional accent. Looking at you Bill Burr!

Nick Di Paolo makes an appearance once again proving that he will do anything for money as long as it seems like Joe Pesci would have done it in the 1990s!

What a mess!

Fourth of July is a quiet trainwreck of a film. I wanted to like it but I could not bring myself to stomach all of the bad deeds everyone involved has done.

Hollywood is very shady, and you can’t trust anyone involved to be a good person.

Why would all of these people partner with a serial masturbater like Louis CK? It’s speculation but probably because they too enjoy #MeTooing people and they see that cancel culture doesn’t matter if you’re rich with powerful friends in the industry.

All I can wonder is why did this get made?

Who wants to see Joe List acting like a pussy besides his wife?

The opening scene reveals some terrible filmmaking chops and the plot feels forced throughout the film. Much like Louis’ FX series this feels more like an art piece more than something that was supposed to actually entertain.

“Hi. I’m Louis CK, watch me masturbate”

Louis CK’s output lately is pretty much all self serving and out of touch with reality.

All the way down to his last comedy special where he had a “funny bit” about his current girlfriend sending him little girls panties as a joke. WTF?! He goes on how he’s going to dispose of the panties so no one thinks he’s a weirdo. TOO FUCKING LATE! What is he telegraphing here? Before he was caught for serial masturbating he actually put that as a plot point into his show.

Fallen paragons

If Louis CK was still the Hollywood darling like he was 10 years ago, would he associate with someone young and terrible like Joe List? No.

He’s using Joe List as a moral shield and Joe List is using Louis CK’s name to get his really boring name out there.

Like really, you couldn’t have come up with a better stage name? “Joe List” sounds like it’d be a stationary company for sticky notes! Is stationary funny to you?

What is wrong with you people?

Stop emailing me about your shitty movie!

Overall I’d say this Fourth of July is worth skipping! Louis CK has sent 2 email blasts so far promoting this movie which for some reason has a limited theater release. Uhh, I don’t want to get a new COVID strain seeing Joe List “act” ok?

The email blast ends with his remorse and self awareness that people hate him now.

“I felt able to look after the cast and focus on the look of the movie. Whether or not I did any of that properly, is up to pretty much everyone but me.”

A real quote from the promotion email.

How much do you want to bet he did the entire direction pantsless and no one said a thing because they want Louis CK to make their comedy career! They want a cameo on Family Guy and appearances on all the talk shows!

Yes Fourth of July is nothing but an perverted old man trying to stay relevant and using a clout chasing young man as a human shield. It’s a bunch of Hollywood back scratching and fart sniffing and it is your typical auteurism of someone who should have gracefully retired.

“Inequality is bad, inflation is soaring, let’s do a super relatable movie about a jazz pianist from New York City who is on an annual family vacation! We’re not out of touch! No way!” – Louis CK and Joe List huffing each other’s farts in a NYC loft apartment you plebeians can’t afford.

You want to make a motion picture, kid? Well first you gotta find the funniest man in Hollywood, Joe List. I can’t wait to hear what he thinks of the wait at the airport, everyone loves airport jokes.

Maybe their next movie can be a super relatable comedy about two comedians who blow each other for money.

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Writer/Contributor. Scholar of life.