Louis CK’s Final Act

Disgraced comedian, Louis CK has been promoting his latest livestreamed special. While he still sells out tickets you have to wonder what type of people go to see Louis CK this day and age.

Sick in the head

Nearly every joke he’s made has been some telegraphed admission of his deviancy. Before he was outed for masturbating in front of women, he used it in his television show as a plot point.

In his last special he made jokes about having little girls panties like a pedophile and the whole thing feels like comedy night in the sex offender ward of the federal prison.

While many of you on the internet see no problem with that, here in the real world it’s a crime and not the staple of normal people’s social circles.

Lowered a tier

He’s been on a press junket even lowering himself to appear on podcasts to promote his piece of shit comedy event. An event held at one of the largest venues thereby proving cancel culture works.

He was once called “the next George Carlin” but if you look back he has none of the philosophical edge Carlin had and a lot of jokes about his daughters’ vaginas in its place.


What does he have left to offer the world?

The way we see it: it’ll be a few more comedy specials with diminishing returns before he takes a length of rope and ends his sordid career for good.

So we’re beginning the countdown to Louis CK finally Robin Williams-ing himself! We call it taking “The Robin Williams” challenge. The challenge is knowing you have skeletons that are about to be revealed so you go out with your boots on.


That’s right, we’re talking sad clowns with nooses. How’s that for entertainment!?

Cash shits on everything around me

Why else do you think Louis CK is doing these standup specials anyway? It’s because he needs money to recoup his lavish lifestyle.

Before he took his fall he was everywhere, a meteoric rise they called it, and Hollywood loved him. Now he’s doing sad movies with hack Joe List, he’s self denigrating himself by appearing on the Joe Rogan Experience, and reiterating his boring disgusting fat guy comedy for lazy audiences who are too scared to go to a real comedy club.

His only saving grace is getting paid a lot of money which you morons envy because you think money will stop all of the problems in your pathetic world.

All of you out there, it’s like your goal is to have a pile of money to erase the memories of a shit life you have lead. The truth is it won’t and every celebrity like Louis CK is a reminder that money can’t buy happiness when you’re a walking piece of human garbage pretending to be an entertainer.

He’s numb and dead inside!

Here’s how Louis CK dies in 2029:

Louis CK’s new special “The Final Act” (For Broadway)

After a series of “specials” and trying to make films with “comedians”, Louis CK decides enough is enough after it is revealed someone is going to expose the rest of the skeletons in his closet. Louis is very afraid of skeletons!

Louis goes to the hardware store, buys a length of rope and a nice adjustable pneumatic stool on wheels. He even tells the cashier lady to have a good day even though she is working her third job and he doesn’t care one bit about another human being.

He assembles the stool, puts on a Richard Pryor special on the TV, then with another remote hits play on the stereo. The mood is now set. ‘Brother Louie’ by Stories plays and he sings along, changing the final chorus ever so slightly, “Louie you’re gonna die”.

As the song fades out he then he kicks the stool out from under him. His eyes bulging out of his head, gasping for air, thus completing his rendition of the Aristocrats, the classic joke originating in a time of lead paint and child labor.

“Louie you’re gonna cry die”.

Seeing his corpse hit the ground is the punchline. The audience loses their minds. It’s the funniest thing they’ve ever seen in a black t-shirt.

Many people run from the theater to celebrate such shock humor. Louis becomes more famous than he has ever been. He somehow wins a posthumous Grammy for comedy performance. Making Will Smith slap the shit out of the host just for pleasure.

We’re always right about the future

The world changes a lot in the next few years, trust us. We’ve been channeling nostrildumbass and our predictions are ALWAYS right, except when they’re very wrong. Thankfully you all have such short attention spans.

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Writer/Contributor. Likes working out, drinking slime, and hassling nerds.