Review: The Matrix Resurrections

Today we are reviewing The Matrix Resurrections which everyone is doing and we don’t want to feel left out. Years ago all of our friends were jumping off a bridge and sadly we missed out.

The first part of the movie opens up with Neo talking to Trinity about driving lessons. Trinity then asks him how it feels, to have the ability to go where you want but not be able to do so. This quote sticks with me because it feels like it’s so very true for both the people in the story as well as those in reality.

The first action sequence is underwhelming. An obese elephant with an urban accent falls off a cliff and lands on its feet. Neo lets out his trademark “woah” and bends a spoon except not with his mind with his hands. He says “can’t you see I’m the one” in a forth wall breaking moment where he faces the camera as he bends the spoon.

He hasn’t aged a day!

Speaking of which, since we’re talking about spoons, let us discuss cooking utensils: The scene where Trinity breaks a rolling pin over an actual patriarch’s head was pretty cool and I think a double metaphor for women breaking through the glass ceiling. Nothing says equality like shoehorning it into movies that bear no significant change on reality.

The movie overall was your typical action romp but with some key differences, namely the lack of gun fire or gun play at all. The directors opted to use stern conversations and finger pointing instead of guns. They also put more emphasis on the female lead, giving her more opportunities than ever before to showcase her talents, especially when she has to come back from near death several times in the movie.

Overall, the choreography, casting, writing and music left much to be desired but since they paid me to say good things about it, orgasms shot out of my eyes and into the movie screen. I could not contain the pure ecstasy of yet another Matrix sequel as I approached what the Buddha referred to as nirvana.