Comedy Sucks Now

Comedy, it used to make us laugh but now it makes the most sensitive among us cry while simultaneously degrading humor. Think about it. What can you joke about now? You know, without getting in trouble from some politically correct goon that is moderator of 15 woke subreddits.

No one likes the term ‘politically correct’ so it’s relabeled as ‘woke’ now. As if you’re a racist Neo in The Matrix who just woke up and discovered he had a klan hood in his dresser drawer next to his underwear.

What exactly are you waking up from? Certainly not waking up with great jokes since comedy now must be a bunch of sad anecdotes strung along with “jokes”.

Hannah Gadsby’s Nannette went on and on how she couldn’t find a place that represented “her people”. “Her people” of course referring to lesbians, an elite group of women who become gym teachers and boring stand up comedians.

Then you to make things fair you have Neal Brennan doing comedy in 3 different tones like it’s some coffee house art piece.


Watching these new comedians and them floundering to say anything memorable or funny really makes me feel spoiled I got to experience the likes of George Carlin.

Comedy movies today are basically non-existent. The director of the gritty Taxi Driver rip-off ‘The Joker’ used to make comedy movies. Now he makes movies about violent clowns which I think says a lot more about our society than it adds to Batman’s villainy lore.

The world is at war with itself and everyone is forgetting how to laugh! That’s where we come in. We don’t like politically correct AKA woke people. Not for the reasons you gasoline huffing Pepe the Frog meme-sters do, but instead for resurrecting the language war in way that would get Tipper Gore horny for censorship. (Look it up you little brats!).

Instead we loathe the politically correct woke mafia for dilluting culture down to inclusive emojis with wheelchairs and taking away the words: “retarded”, “faggot”, and parading around your photo-op causes for your social media.

Pile of movements

Let’s think about why this whole moronic movement started. It started because of obnoxious, droning hipster social justice twitter warrior justice warriors of all stripes under the conviction they could “save America” and become better citizens by scolding someone’s social media account. It’s a byproduct of 90s slacktivism except with venom and claws. These sad saps are useful idiots in the class war.

The biggest causality has been the laughter. They say laughter is the best medicine and as usual we’re lacking in healthcare coverage!

I want to laugh, not listen to your TED Talk. Comedy should be inappropriate to the point where the truth of it makes you laugh.

Jokes aren’t supposed to be punctuated with constant fear of repercussions from some oversensitive fringe minority. We’re better than this.

Now what’s become funny is upsetting people who are sensitive. That’s not comedy, that’s not comedy at all. Real comedy is a grown man smashing a watermelon with a sledgehammer!

Real comedy risks something and I can’t tell you one thing modern comedians are risking other than being unemployed.

Many are untalented, far from witty, and are riding this SJW hate gravy train all the way to the bank.

It’s disgusting, more disgusting than watching Nanette while eating Doritos in your underwear. Yeah, for real!

Tragedy in motion

Comedy today is a tragedy in motion. So many opinions regurgitated and recycled and repackaged that is less creative than 1990s alternative comedy. The alternative comedy scene was a direct result of grunge culture and the 1980s hackney careerists who would tell exterminator jokes to milquetoast America in smokey clubs.

You can forget about SNL being funny because the network NBC did much better under a military weapons manufacturer than it is doing being owned by the largest television company in the country. So don’t expect anything engaging, funny, clever, or anything from SNL. I hold it with the same regard as the theater club forcing the entire school to watch their improv.

So where can comedy go from here? Absolutely fearless or absolutely philosophically bone chilling truths. Stop with the mealy mouthed language war BS and start laughing again god damn it!

I can say what I want to, if that’s ok with you?

Make freedom of speech cool again. Stop with the censoring. Stop with the pandering. Real social change doesn’t come from destroying comedy.

MLK never said “I had a dream comedians should get kicked off of Twitter”, but if you ask people on Twitter they’ll disagree with you agreeing with them so there you have it. Culture is now dictated by mentally retarded people on Twitter who don’t know how to interpret human emotions like joculation or joy.

I’m looking forward to the next Netflix comedy special that only talks about starving children in Africa, complete with vivid imagery and a 7 foot tall lesbian feminist screeching at me for having a penis for an hour. I’ll be the first one to watch that quality comedy special.

George Carlin look out, your legacy is being threatened by mediocrity!

The equation was golden

Comedy really is a tragedy these days. Thanks executives for fucking up the equation.

Comedy = Tragedy + Time.

Not Comedy = Tragic Anecdotes by overgrown baby Amy Schumer

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Writer/Editor. Drinker of Soy. Eater of Soy. Lover of Soy. Don't judge.