Review Of South Park Streaming Wars: It Sucks

The new South Park specials are out and boy are they terrible. A weird Paramount Plus exclusive that attempts to sit on both sides of the thin line between selling out and self awareness.

All they wanna do is make money

It’s a frustrating watch and continues to avoid coming off like anything other than a dumb cash grab by overexposed celebrities, you know the same thing they were attempting to lampoon by making every celebrity drink piss.

I’m not sure a Paramount Plus exclusive is any better than promoting crypto but I didn’t see any of the mainline character’s choking down urine.

What a weak plot, continuity isn’t enough

Cartman gets a boob job and the whole plotline is confusing if taken at face value. He lives in a hotdog now after the last cash grab money grubbing specials they released and the entire show is unrecognizable from its early incarnation.

Randy has a “Karen” haircut which in its essence is a couple of old men repeating the internet’s jokes back to them, except 4 years after the joke had gone stale. What happened to the dynamicism from the Six Days To Air documentary?

Too old to air

It’s time to end South Park and not for any cancel culture political reasons, but instead we see 2 guys we used to admire going through the motions simply because they’re too greedy to say enough is enough.

Comedy Central should be finding the new Matt Stone and Trey Parker with fresh ideas. Instead of handing South Park 30 more high concept specials featuring fewer giant props or sexual references and a million dollar budget.

The charm is gone and they’re as corporate as it gets now. Welcome to Jay Leno status, now get the fuck out of the way.

Unforgivable!

No more chances for this tired old show, Comedy Central, and no more cheap attempts to milk overplayed shockers either. Stop overpaying dinosaurs!

Cancel South Park NOW! There was no significant danger to your enterprise for holding onto this sad excuse for a TV show. Just embrace your inner freedom! Show an ounce of creativity!

To be continued…. NOT!

What will the show do next? I don’t care anymore. The lectures get longer and the jokes are fewer and before we know it their voices will show their ages as badly as modern episodes of The Simpsons.

What was the cartoon vanguard is now wrinkled, old and too tired to remember how they got there to begin with.

They are today as stale as the shows they stole the crown from and now it’s time to pass the torch to the next generation.

New bloods

South Park Studios should fund new animators and get some fresh ideas. The future of animation is grim if we’re counting on Matt Stone, Trey Parker, and Seth MacFarlane to bring us the entirety of our animated satire.

There’s hundreds if not thousands of viable animations on the internet but here we are discussing two guys who have been resting on their laurels of their crude VHS tape animation when there are young animators making a lot more impressive and funny cartoons.

Yet those “older and seasoned” men feel like they still know what’s important by re-hashing. Cartman getting a boob job felt like the trans bathroom episode except it was seemingly done for no other point than to show continuity of plot.

Symbolism for your hypocrisy or a flimsy apology?

Pipi of course being super secret symbolism for Paramount Plus is annoying. Obviously the villain who dies in the end with some sanctimonious lecture about diluting content only comes off as hypocritical.

The court jester is wearing kids gloves these days, and someone needs to scream into their geriatric faces that they’ve lost their edge.

In previous episodes they had an episode that pointed out the current event of teenagers having attitude and playing airsoft. An observation that would be apt for the man frozen in 1996 but seems out of touch for the paragons of satire.

The internet disagrees, and they are all fat and ugly

Don’t take my word for it, because you should believe all of the fanatics and astroturfing shills hired to pass this steaming plate of shit called The Streaming Wars as the pinnacle of comedy.

What a hastily written piece of crap that pulls all of its punches and claims it’s Rocky Balboa.

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Kenneth

Writer/Contributor. Scholar of life.