Deport James Corden

We need to deport James Corden right now. He is the worst person in America and he needs to go… NOW!

James Kimberley Corden is a British talk show host who has come to this country, and one wonders if he swam here illegally. He took over The Late Late Show from Craig Ferguson, who is actually pretty cool.

Corden on the other hand could easily pose as an overweight American slob named Cory who shows up to the grocery store at 10 AM on Tuesday to buy another case of cheap beer. We fucking hate people named Cory here and we shred everyone’s resume named Cory whether they apply here or somewhere else!

Bad man

Corden is a bad person and not just for subjecting us to car pool karaoke, and not just because the British accent is like hearing swamp gas escape from a whoopee cushion.

One wonders why CBS insists on having people from the UK host their late night shows instead of the beginning slot. If the British are so smart why can’t they get The Late Show? David Letterman wouldn’t have minded since he admires their dentistry.

I would be OK with them stealing from Stephen Colbert too, but we’re not talking about him right now, OK?! Corden is the worst, and I can prove it.

How The British Become Famous On American TV

Before you can be a British person on American TV the queen must anoint you. What does that mean? Extra bean toast and lots of disgusting old person farts!

They make royalty sound refined on TV but when you really get to know them it’s a bunch of frat house pranks on the poor. So you like watching someone on TV who willingly got farted on? OK, weirdo.

The company you keep and the work you do

Besides that he’s friends with Paul McCartney who is a tired old dried up Beatle and one of the worst ones. George, can you please haunt Paul and tell him to knock off all the mediocrity?

He starred in Cats. The worlds worst movie about the world’s worst Broadway show, with the world’s worst animal as the subject matter.

Yeah that’s right, he willingly dressed up like a pussy for money. Who else does that? Prostitutes or as they call them in jolly ol’ England : strumpets. No furries in America!

He was in the movie Ocean’s 8, the post #MeToo empowerment era movie where actresses were sabotaging their careers with sassy reboots sure to make your vagina feel stronger. Who cares about getting paid a third less when there’s female Ocean’s 11 now?

This is all adding up, isn’t it?

Deport this scumbag!

This is why we must deport James Corden before he does something else foul. He needs to leave and America can finally be rid of this stain.

Unfortunately his best friend Paul McCartney left his cultural beliefs at the door for easy money and fame. His fat jowls have occupied the majority of my very large television set for too long! We can no longer allow such scum to set foot on our soil ever again!

Government, please help!

What can the American government do about Corden? I say drone strike, unlimited collateral damage to stop this cultural terrorist once and for all!

Of course this is up to our current president but let’s hope that the anti-Corden movement becomes the new wedge issue that splits America in twain! People never agree on issues until there’s consequences.

First we deport Corden and go from there. There should be protests outside the London embassy over this.

This illegal immigrant needs to rot in jail and face consequences after which his butt should land someplace east of Constantinople in modern day Turkey; preferably Mora Point.

Then let him play Guitar Hero 5 until his hands fall off. Then I’ll think you’re funny you handless toy guitar playing idiot! Hah! I win Corden. I win! You lose baby!


Fat Guy Corden: 0

Super Muscle Writer Guy: 10,000,000

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Writer/Contributor. Likes working out, drinking slime, and hassling nerds.