Joyful Music? Something Bad Will Happen!

I can tell by the joyful music something bad is about to happen.

Yes, in today’s world upbeat country folk music that fat ladies used to square dance to is considered ominous and foreboding.

Gimmick or Genius?

As if this contrast gimmick was not enough Vince Gilligan has made a career out of making tense moments using soundtracks last used in a church cake walk back in 1987.

This is usually just because he loves music from that era, but once upon a time Gilligan and Co. gave us Breaking Bad: A tear-jerking soundtrack for tormented souls working meth labs.

Next time you’re about to commit several felonies consider putting on some old blues rock for your montage scene.

So if you’re living life and you hear any joyful music you had better run and hide somewhere because those creepy bald brothers from the cartel want to axe you a question with their axes!

How To Be A Criminal

Make sure you do all meet ups in the desert. No one thinks a bunch of guys standing in the middle of no where pointing guns at each other is suspicious.

When asked for comment Vince Gilligan said “Get the hell out of house you smelly freaks!”

What is he hiding? Is it blue meth?

If so it may be important to cut that off before the warehouse explodes!

Are his kids locked in there?

What about Pinkie Tuscadero?

Even worse what about Meow Mix…don’t let her get behind the wheel of that RV.

Cue the music

Jesse we have to cook to an old Johnny Cash song! We’ve gotta hit that giant cooking powder supply store too! All could be key plot points!!

A patented Gilligan twist would dictate that I shave my head and become a crime lord. I swear to God I will slash every throat I see if Jesse isn’t telling me where the brown sugar is hidden right now.

I’ve got Frank Sinatra playing now lets do crimes! Wooo! Crime spree USA. Ain’t NOBODY gonna hold us down! Gettin’ yer fingernails dirty on a quarter. Ain’t no limit to the high score!

Vince, how many times do we have to hear the oldies before you put a contemporary song about sweaty butts on the dance floor in your “art”?

Sorry you make a lot of money but please try mixing things up next season.

Can’t take the criticism huh, Gilligan?

Ahh fuck, I just heard an oldies song which means Gilligan has his revolver pressed to the back of my head for a truly binge worthy cliff hanger ending!

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Writer/Contributor. Scholar of life.