Interview With George Carlin’s Ghost

We here at Mutant Bunker have connections and we get all sorts of exclusive interviews. Today we’re interviewing George Carlin’s ghost!

Talkin’ Comedy With The Legend

Mutant Bunker: George can you hear me? I think I need to get this Ouija board checked out.

George Carlin’s Ghost: Yes, what is it?

Mutant Bunker: Big fan, can we ask you a few questions?

George Carlin’s Ghost: Sure, fire away.

Mutant Bunker: Do you remember your first show?

George Carlin’s Ghost: My first show was very exciting, I was nervous but it was a great show. I didn’t know how to swear though. I’m glad they never released that show. I was afraid they’d show my swearing to young kids.

Mutant Bunker: You were swearing on purpose back then?

George Carlin’s Ghost: Oh yeah, I’d say fuck this. To hell with that, I’m going to kick this shit out of the world. That was me. I was always like that, that’s what I was about, that’s who I was. That was the deal. I was always a fucker.

Mutant Bunker: What do you think of comedy today?

George Carlin’s Ghost: Not good, not bad. It’s like a bunch of mediocre shlubs all got together and conspired to make the world call them a ‘comedian’ when they’re no more than an asshole. They are the assholes of today.

Mutant Bunker: What about stand-ups who have podcasts?

George Carlin’s Ghost: Yeah, they suck too.

Mutant Bunker: Who’s your favorite comedian?

George Carlin’s Ghost: I love them all. I love Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Richard Pryor. I love ’em all.

Mutant Bunker: Do you have a favorite joke?

George Carlin’s Ghost: I like the one that makes you go ‘Huh?’ or ‘Huh? What the fuck?!’

Mutant Bunker: What is it like in the afterlife?

George Carlin’s Ghost: Pretty cool. I don’t think I was ready to go but it’s not so bad. No more jerks asking me dumb questions, oh wait a minute, I guess that’s not true.

Mutant Bunker: How does it feel to know that Louis CK was called the ‘next George Carlin’?

George Carlin’s Ghost: Fucking hell! What is this, the ghost police?

Mutant Bunker: Not a fan of Louis CK?

George Carlin’s Ghost: He sucks!

Mutant Bunker: But you know who else sucks?

George Carlin’s Ghost: Who?

Mutant Bunker: That douche-bag, Ricky Gervais. He’s a fraud!

George Carlin’s Ghost: He’s a phony, a poser. A total fake.

Mutant Bunker: Are you going to haunt him?

George Carlin’s Ghost: You bet your ass!

Mutant Bunker: Alright, thanks for your time.

George Carlin’s Ghost: Okay whatever kid. Don’t quit your day job or you might go hungry.

After that I threw the Ouija board against the wall in a rage suitable for toddler. I was so enraged I forgot to tell the ghost to get off my property. Now all I can hear is spooky language.

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Writer/Contributor. Likes working out, drinking slime, and hassling nerds.