We here at Mutant Bunker get all the exclusive interviews.
Today I want to share an interview we did with Norm Macdonald’s ghost.
I got out my ouija board which has the ability to speak with spirits who have passed on and spirits who refuse to pass on. How does it work? Well it’s all very technical and you wouldn’t understand unless you have a tarot deck, and a Hot Topic gift card like me!
The Exclusive Interview
Mutant Bunker: Norm, can you hear me? Is my Ouija board on?
Norm Macdonald: Hi Benji, no it isn’t. You should change the batteries in that thing regularly. At least once a month. Just like with a remote control!
Mutant Bunker: Solid advice from the legend himself! What have you been up to?
Norm Macdonald: Well my latest project is feeding the worms with my corpse.
Mutant Bunker: No, really, what has you so busy these days?
Norm Macdonald: Feeding the worms!
Mutant Bunker: Don’t you think it’s weird for a dead man to have a posthumous comedy special? How are we supposed to laugh knowing you’re dead?
Norm: Let’s not talk about this, please? Some day I may rise and then YOU will have to answer the questions!
Mutant Bunker: Do you think Netflix plans on doing business with more dead comedians?
Norm: Probably. It’ll be just another television channel filled with people singing and dancing. And women wearing leather. God help us all. Oh wait, they already do!
Mutant Bunker: That reminds me, Norm, do you know if Oprah will die soon? We’re all sick of her shit.
Norm: Hmm, maybe not. For the time being she still feels strong. But let me ask you something important: Will you stop using blackface for shock value?
Mutant Bunker: Well I feel bad about black face. I shouldn’t have done all those job interviews wearing it. In retrospect it was an honest mistake and boys being boys.
Norm: I think I can feel my angel wings growing!
Mutant Bunker: Don’t speak of angels yet! We want more jokes before you get to rest in peace, ok funny man?
Norm: Fine! I don’t like your ear piece though, you need to lose some weight. It looks quite uncomfortable.
Mutant Bunker: Thank you for noticing. My mother had implants when I was born. She said they gave her great bone structure and if I wanted milk I’d have to get it from the Coca-Cola corporation. I’m a little sensitive about it, alright Norm?
Norm: Relax buddy, I was just pulling your leg. It’s what we Canadian ghost types do.
Mutant Bunker: Hey Norm, by any chance do you know if people came back as ghosts after their death?
Norm: Ha ha! Me, well I’m still around cause someone never bothered to read my will so let’s move on now and ask about Princess Diana!
Mutant Bunker: Have you met her?
Norm: Huh, good question. I was hoping no one would ask me that. First she died, then there were all those pictures on her computer or whatever…you know what happened. Yes, I saw her last night. I was drinking ghost liquor at the Overlook hotel when a waiter come running over yelling “The Prince’s ghost wants his tea!” That place reeks like wet huggies. Just remember you aren’t in Seattle anymore. The natives might throw you off a cliff.
Mutant Bunker: Thanks for the tip.
Norm: Any time. Listen, I gotta go, Chris Farley’s ghost got his head stuck in a banister again. I’ll catch ya never. Have a nice rest of afterlife without me.
Mutant Bunker: Thanks Norm. Now please haunt David Spade and tell him to retire already.