Our Predictions For 2099

It’s almost 2022 which means it’s time to make our 2099 predictions. You’re never too early when it comes to content creation!

2099 is just around the corner!

Our 2099 predictions are:

1. We will only elect leaders with large heads. The only ones who matter anymore are those that have more than two brains.

2. Your cell phone will be replaced by a credit card that plugs into your ear. It will allow you to listen to books and news reports at the same time. The fact that it is made out of silicon plastic will take away its ability to pick up static charges. Of course it will be ad supported.

3. Artificial intelligence will keep getting better, but for some reason no one ever takes it seriously. In some cases the AI will actually outperform humans in specific tasks. Example: Cleaning the bathroom with dish detergent and paper towels. AI can do a shitty job a lot faster and more efficiently.

4. Unemployment will finally hit 100% and people will finally be able to smoke weed and chill.

5. All cigarettes will be replaced by felating a robot instead.

6. Power consumption will get cheaper and cheaper since there’s no one to buy electricity anymore.

7. Tribes will form in the wooded remains of cities.

8. The tribes will form into corporations.

9. There will be a push towards genetic engineering. Everyone will want a perfect baby that looks just like Jeff Bezos, king of the universe.

10. Skateboards will be made mandatory by Tony Hawk’s kid who has become president.