You heard the news right? Burgers are out, maggots are in. Yum, right? Wrong. There is a PR campaign afoot to get people into eating bugs. Why? They cost nothing to raise and the powers that be want to feed the poor of the world what amounts to chickenfeed.
Here comes the airplane, full of maggots!
Ok, we don’t want people to starve but why push disgusting alternatives when there are plant proteins that have a history to them that aren’t gross. Black bean burgers aren’t the same but they’re still a lot more delicious than eating a bunch of grubs like I’m into some Lion King kinkplay where Pumbaa must eat all the maggots for his mistress. I’m not willing to have that relationship with my grocer, I’m sorry planet.
Not only maggots but test tube meats, making cooking oils out of maggots with churlish news anchors pretending to take a bite telling us it’s super delicious. Rachael Ray will probably say it’s yumtastic as she cashes another large check for being a soulless succubus that lives in your television.
Open up Billy Boy
So why doesn’t Bill Gates downside his home and eat maggots? He’s a fucking hypocrite that’s why. Pay your fucking taxes Bill. Why not move to Africa with a jobs program? The Bill Gates PR campaign is bullshit. It always has been. Philanthropy is all public relations so they don’t have to pay their fair share in taxes. Go look up how much the rich owe the IRS in uncollected taxes, it’s in the billions. Yeah and H&R Block is grilling you over a $3.65 deduction!
The guy got famous being a ruthless businessman swallowing up all the companies that competed against him and enforcing a monopoly. His biggest lesson from the anti-trust trial was that he should have hired lobbyists. With his foundation there are so many PR campaigns in play that you seriously can’t tell fact from fiction anymore. I don’t buy any of it!
What’s the deal with Epstein [Seinfeld bassline]
I read that he was on Epstein’s list for the pedo plane. Pretty fucked up if you ask me.
What exactly is he doing in Africa?
I won’t even begin to speculate what a monster he could be, that’s for conspiracy sites that need to sell you bone broth to pay their 5 dollar hosting bill.
Watch out for 5G, it’s right behind you!
Put your mouth where your money is or “The Main Event”
Bill Gates should eat a big plate of maggots live in a stadium so we can see it’s not a deep fake. He should smile the entire time as they wriggle down his throat and the liquids squirt down his chin. He should do this wearing a Windows 11 t-shirt with the Rolling Stones playing loudly. This will be the only way I’ll pretend to eat one and feed it to my cat for the prize money and Twitter clout.
It should look good too. The lighting should be top notch, the sound should be nauseating to listen to. The live streaming footage of him shoveling maggots down his mouth would make it worth every penny.
If this sounds like a sick joke to you, so does trying to make eating insect larvae cool. DISGUSTING!
Meat is murder and murder tastes soooo good
Animals are filthy but the reason we cook their meat is so we don’t have to eat maggots. I don’t care how you fry up a bug, I’ll never eat it.
Do the fish taste better with scales?
Is trout better fried with bird guts?
My answer is no.
All this means is we’ve killed an animal. People should also know what is in the food they are purchasing and it won’t be long before all these weird food companies get congress to change the definition of food to something more disgusting than cows.
You’re not the boss of me
Do you want hypocritical billionaires telling you what to do from their pedo planes in Davos? I don’t. Fuck them. They should be our slaves instead. Eat your maggots slaves and maybe we’ll see about social services.
So how do you fight back? It’s simple. You make fun of anyone who likes this weird shit. If it didn’t work they’d still be making purple ketchup and clear Pepsi, ok? You have to be a dick to people eating maggots because they are literally bottom feeders at this point.
They’re fucking animals. Disgusting creatures, as seen in my imaginary picture above.
Anyone who would eat a test tube burger is saying fuck history. Tofu has a 1000 year history and beans have existed forever. You don’t need to grow animal cells in a petri dish and say wash it down with a plate full of maggots. People are so gullible it makes me sick and I think you’ve all gotten a lot dumber than you were say 10 years ago. You’re supposed to get smarter and wiser with age!
You’re a chicken
Instead of chowing down on chicken food, I suggest you just finish your vegetables you dumb pricks. Jesus Christ I see why Bill Gates wants to exterminate you, now get out of here before I change my mind on eugenics!
