Pokemon We Hope Are In The Next Game

The last game was awful! We hope they add these rumored Pokemon to the next game. We scoured forums, subreddits, and all the chans to find the additions people thought would be most likely.

New Pokemon (Rumored)

1. Pissy The Gas Cloud – He has bad opinions and has to take a piss constantly.

2. Hard Head Apeador – It has several sets of eyes on its head, which should make it seem like the ultimate spy, but, with two skulls attached together in front, one set of eyes is permanently crossed out of mockery towards Nintendo.

3. Shit Bird Ball – Basically a poison-filled doorknob the size of a football.

4. Pink Sheep Cream – Cream used by Bubble Bitch that turns pink when applied for those fun morning photo ops. Comes in a bag made from the flesh of dead baby sheep. Very stinky.

6. Awful Man Cerney – His weak point is his underbite. He doesn’t like going anywhere without his hand near his crotch. And he never ever remembers his own name or what to say. He just mumbles weirdly. Sounds like my uncle.

7. Jack-O-Bean – All she does is show up at the beach, eat an entire family’s lunch, get rid of any dignity remaining in the group and then leave without saying a word.

8. Weener Wingripper – Tiny winged dragon designed to exterminate any pesky flyers who dare step foot onto his property. Use extreme caution because these are prone to severe PMS swings and go into hiding if angered.

9. Yellow Pocket Cow Patty – Huge cow created as a fail-safe against Vegans and cowards. This beast can produce very strong methane fumes (used by some Crotchworms), and may therefore appear to be edible to everyone except true vegans and health nuts.

10. Chariot Cheddar – Great bodyguard that will escort you around the town square until you’ve blown all your money there. Stay away from the casino.

11. Float Dog – Normal sized dog with lots of extra flab in the wrong places.

12. Crying Guy Smiley Face – Of course, every time Smiley Guy sees something remotely happy or fun he starts crying. Usually when girls are fighting over who gets to play first base in their sand volleyball game.

13. Fuckhead McAuley / Fuckface McArthur – This offspring produced by a mutated space virus lays eggs and they form clones. They don’t understand human social interaction because they aren’t humans themselves. However, they have killed many humans with selfish behavior during their travels across Earth, so have earned the hatred of most people everywhere.

14. Skullbotch Douche Hater – It’s rather disgusting when this thing loses control over itself and goes into a tizzy with huge claws slashing anything available to get off of its back.