Hey Lady, Show Me Your Boobs

Hey ladies, I’m a grown up now so show me your boobs. I heard from my best friend Kyle that girls have them. He also said that they are kind of small and there aren’t many. He would know, his uncle has Cinemax!

Men At Work

I mean, I work late at the factory building giant robots that fight in outer-space. When I’m not working, I play with computer games or watch TV shows. Sometimes I write. Or do math.

I am 39 years old. That is 4 years older than you, so show me your boobs. It’s safe and fun.

Fake mustache? I don’t think so!

Jeez, this mustache isn’t fake. I grew it myself, you don’t have to be so mean to a gundam builder. Kyle says after you see boobs that babies are born so I want you to know that you have to make it a boy so I have someone on my team when I play Fortnite.

Kyle says he’ll help but he just ends up trolling me and then I tell his wife on him but she says its his game and he can do whatever he wants. It’s not fair!

So unfair

Speaking of unfair, it’s unfair you “females” (as my hero Ben Shapiro likes to call them), withhold the boob from hardworking manly men like myself.

Women should be happy for men when we get hardworking jobs because they are too busy building robot laser cannons. And if you’re jealous of me and Ben’s careers then I will prove to you that we are mature men who need to see some boob right now!

Strumpets every last one of you!

Come on lady!

I heard all women are “sluts” (as my hero Jordan Peterson would say) because they’re not on the carnivore diet and their tits just won’t quit. Show me those rackety racks before it’s too late! For God’s sake, show me something real before I’m too old to jack off in a corporate bathroom stall.

Show me boobs, oh please show me boobs!

Gotta go soon, sorry to all of my internet fans

Ok I got to go, my boss is going to be home and they’re probably going to be mad that I didn’t do my homework for the new rocket blaster.

She said the first thing I need to learn is how to run the business better. Oh man, can’t she find someone else? The first thing I need to do is finish fixing my Tesla Model S since it keeps overheating every other week. After that it’s off to polishing my stack of money in my Scrooge McDuck sized vault.

Oh what’s that you heard I have money and you’re pulling out the boobs? Good. I’m glad Joe Rogan was right, you just tell those bitches to whip out the milkers and you let your inner coyote do the work.

I mean, Kanye was right when he said all women are gold diggers back in 1945 before the Blitzkrieg.

I’ll be your onlyfan

Feminists can suck my dick and these libtards can suck off another soybean as my hero Owen Benjamin would say. All I care about is eating good food and a cold beer while I pick out new sneakers for my shoes collection.

If feminists are that upset that someone told them they look pretty (they’re not: UGLY ALERT!) then they’re welcome to bitch about it with all the other soyboys down at the soy store.

Hahahahah. Please send boob pictures.

Gotta go, boss is here and she’s mad I let the bathroom flood after my hero Ethan Klein told me to flush an entire Papa Johns pizza down the toilet. Or was it Logan Paul? I can’t remember at the moment because I am always finding strong male role models in random podcasters.


Avatar photo

Pork Chop

Writer/Contributor. Not like the other girls.