My friend brought over a time machine and the first thing I thought was to go to the future and check out The Simpsons Season 100. I was given permission by the troglodytic new owners of the show in the year 2102 to share what the plans are.
THE SIMPSONS SEASON 100
EPISODE 1 When in Rome
When the sky starts falling into Earth (a new threat introduced by climate change) Homer realizes that in order to save mankind he must blow up a small yet powerful moon. Homer switches off the big screen TV suddenly to get arrested by cops that I didn’t even know existed. Everyone’s been arrested except for Moe who breaks free. They then are on their way back home on Pluto. Then Homer sees his boss Jimbo doing drugs behind the station again. The show takes a break to fill us with stats about these various matters, as usual.
Episode 2 SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Everyone lives happily ever after because they all ran away from evil Trump in the year 3017 and live far away on Jelly Moon. But there’s another twist – Apparently it turns out Trump’s father beat him as a child. Well I guess we can relate at least partially. By now we see the famous 1994 World Series flag that Mr. Burns won through fraud. Burns shoots his laser cannon at Homer and his squadron but misses. He decides to get revenge by sending Homer an email warning him to not fly too close to Jupiter when in orbit so that he doesn’t have a near-death experience.
Episode 3 STUFFED BEAVERS CAN COUNT
Bart misses the space bus due to a diabetic coma caused by one bite too many of an energy doughnut, “glo-berry”. They reach some asteroid and try to send out search signals via infrared signaling chip implant that sends everything back to Earth causing Bart and Lisa’s crew members to panic upon receiving strange sensations. Homer gets mad at them and declares there is no excuse anymore and that if they don’t watch their own spacecraft like proper earthlings, he will just take control and take everyone away.
Episode 4 SECRETS OF THE SNACK WORLD
Homer and Lenny sneak on to a maintenance platform after the company told them a little girl with one emerald ring is held prisoner there, though another guy was released the day before Homer and Lenny showed up. Lenny notices they look suspicious and perhaps performs citizen’s arrest. There is a super power surprise that might shake up my knowledge of television history.
Episode 5 BOBCAT CROSSING
Lisa discovers Space Springfield has broken into some kind of gold rush land grab and its population is rising fast under direction of Kang who wants to turn it into a dictator state. Meanwhile Grampa has developed Alzheimer’s disease and ends up drinking tainted chocolate milk from Krusty Burger.
Episode 6 BURNS BRIGHT
They went back in time where there were cowabungas to calm us down. Cowabunga Land! But, instead of our Founding Fathers facing each other, it was Ken Burns shooting fish in a barrel. Then we meet Santa’s Little Space Helper, the new family dog. In fact he is full sized already and proceeds to rescue The Baby from evil and non-existent bogeymen while reminding all of us of Marty McFly from Back to the Future. Finally, it was unveiled why the arrow pointed to White House.
Episode 7 TAKING THE DAY OFF
Now this really intrigued me. The basic premise was that Bart managed to fall out of his spaceship and get stuck in outer space forever. For instance, what if you could only communicate between Earth and the ship. I also found it funny that it was impossible to move around inside said spaceship to explore without help from alien beings. I was disappointed this season ended on a cliffhanger.
