Brendan Fraser is BACK!

Brendan Fraser deserves all of the praise he’s getting. He’s pretty much an angel walking around on earth.

Brendan and I go way back

Most people see him as someone they’d want to be friends with, who seems like a very likable person and is someone who has gone through his fair share of life adversities. Well if there were ever a person that could deserve sympathy and even have kind words for them it would be Brendan Fraser.

Prehistory

Not everyone can get so far in this world after being thawed out of the ice. Don’t look at me like that, I know Encino Man was a documentary and Pauly Shore was in on the coverup.

Strangely no one has heard a peep from Pauly in about 22 years, perhaps he is trying to freeze himself to a time where people might find his nepotistic rise to fame to be endearing again.

Let’s Talk: Whale

Brendan was in tears after a standing ovation for the movie Whale. I don’t know what it’s about but it’s not about cavemen or mummies, I won’t see it.

This means Brendan is back but I gotta know when are we going to see a sequel to Encino Man? I want more Mummy movies and I want The Rock to cry because he’s not in them!

For those of you confused as to why our site that has been called ‘seething with hatred’ is being sympathetic to one of Hollywood’s own? It’s because he was MeToo’ed you insensitive clods!

That’s right, throw away your expensive textbooks, because men can be sexually assaulted it’s just that no one cares. Just ask Terry Crews.

Was Brendan canceled for being abused?

Whatever happened to cancel culture? Why do we stop at Weinstein?

They learned their lesson by making him return in a movie about an obese man who is gay. This is like the time Dick Cheney shot a guy in the face and made him apologize.

Hollyweird Returns

Part of us hopes that Brendan outs the rest of these Hollywood weirdos but with them patting him on the back and welcoming him back into the Hollyweird secret society will he? Doubtful.

Corey Feldman outed Charlie Sheen but Sheen still gets mailed paychecks for Two and A Half Men being syndicated on every piece of shit channel on basic cable. No one believes Feldman, he’s obviously acting erratic and accusational for the fun of it! I know when I get bored I accuse Charlie Sheen of things.

So we expect it should be completely different with what just happened with Brendan. He’s a professional and professionals in Hollywood seem to be sworn to secrecy.

Consider years ago even though he was abused, he didn’t want to speak out about his own abuse which makes you wonder if Hollywood isn’t taking advantage of him further.

Welcome back, watch your behind

So Brendan threw himself back into the Hollywood gauntlet, trying to revive his career. We hope it works out and we hope all of those grabbing hands who control everything don’t have Brendan Fraser in their evil sights.

Back to Whale

Whale looks like a good movie, that is if you’re into movies about obese gay men. However for this reviewer it’s severely lacking cavemen, mummies, or reboots with The Rock.

With any luck we’ll get an all The Rock Ghostbusters flick we can all be proud of. That’s right, The Rock plays all of the busters, all of the ghosts, all of the people in the city, the mayor, and slimer.

Except one thing, Brendan Fraser has to do it first because he way better at acting than The Rock. This alone should be a better compliment than a 6 minute standing ovation by your peers.

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Rex

Writer/Contributor. Likes working out, drinking slime, and hassling nerds.