HARDWORKING MOM: It’s Wine O’Clock

Is it Wine-thirty already? The world might be on fire, there might be war everywhere, the city might be burning down around you but I swear, a little taste of red will fix all that.

Yes, I am talking about the wine moms! They are amazing, they take care of everyone in their family and then some.

MORE WINE LESS WHINE

I walk by a flaming restaurant and note the smoldering civilization I used to live in. A baby stroller with a grenade inside rolls down the street and blows up behind me.

This wine really is good I think to myself. And at this point it doesn’t even matter what’s in it. We just need something to dull the pain.

ITS THAT TIME AGAIN

Wine o’clock again? Not a problem, mommy will get us out of here. When we reach the gates of our community the children are ushered to safety but we have to fight off mobs of homicidal adults before we can go in ourselves.

It is still light outside so I know that if I drink enough of this stuff we can hold out until dawn. But I feel like one more glass won’t hurt.

The bodies have stacked up, we both took our losses but it’s time to buckle down and make dinner. I sip on a new bottle of wine and begin chopping vegetables.

It’s very important to consider your health, I say with my wine stained lips barely able to stay upright. Just look how nice the meal looks after such an arduous ordeal. We savor each bite. Life is beautiful.

WOW, NOT FEELING WELL

Mommy needs a nap now, mommy’s been drinking since breakfast and for some reason my head hurts. Maybe a glass of wine before I go lay down will help?

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Fahgina

Writer/Contributor. Feminist. Hates Working Here.