Plans, who needs ’em! We decided to compile our favorite excuses to back out of plans with your friends or family.
How To Cancel Plans The Big List
1. You have a zombie on the loose in your house. The antidote is staying home.
2. Your face has been Photoshopped onto a newsworthy event that you don’t want to be associated with.
3. Already saw it in a movie theater, anyway. Just didn’t feel like going again. Sorry, maybe next year when they remake it.
4. Your VCR is in the shop and you have to watch Quantum Leap. Ok, this one is a little dated so you’ll have to retrofit it.
5. You shot a robber in the face and are trying to deal with the police.
6. Sliding glass doors scare you.
7. Your boss called and made you go to a meeting. But really you just need to hide from her, in your cubicle because she is clawing at your apartment door right now!
8. Mother won’t allow recreation and leisure time until I get promotion.
9. You were too busy making love all night to get up early enough for anything that lame.
10. Legs exploded.
11. Apartment is haunted waiting for ghostbusters
12. Aliens. Just aliens.
13. Nothing to do today but putz around my small apartment all day and accidentally set things on fire!
14. My wife can’t come. She’s an 8th grade science teacher and has to grade the dumb kid’s tests and that could take all week.
15. I had heart surgery! Please tell me how I can get out of the doctors office.
16. Pirates stole my booty. The Captain is leading them into our front yard.
17. Threw out my back by trying to lift my house up to sweep underneath.
18. Yo! Since my car’s battery died last night, we took a cab. Unfortunately, after about two blocks we ran out of fare.
19. Flare gun accident. Was trying to light a cigarette.
20. Eating chicken wings for lunch turned me into a bird. Scampered away.
21. Made like a tree and got stuck.
22. No hairspray for my hair! You think that’s funny? Watch my kids!
23. Secret meeting with government officials…will call back later.
24. Took the wrong way home, stuck in China now.
25. Found out I was only half pregnant. Oops.
26. Blocked parking meter so I couldn’t park anywhere. Uh oh, got to drive forever like the movie Speed.
27. Rollerblade accident, fell into a gazebo and became a super hero.
28. Left iron on! Gotta turn around.
29. Rich business tycoon wanted to make an offer on my Nickelback CDs.
30. I got rabies, drank the wrong brand of wine, bit into a tarantula, forgot to brush after a trip to the dog park.
These are sure to come in handy the next time you find yourself needing some time for yourself. This list is for experts only!