Is Alec Baldwin Going To Kill Again?

Alec Baldwin has gotten a taste for blood, when will he kill again!? This is all speculation, but I am terrified of the man and I’m not thinking rationally out of fear for the lives of humanity! WHOA NELLY! PUT ME IN THE PROTECTION PROGRAM!

I think Alec Baldwin now has the psyche of a murderer. I can’t unthink these thoughts. This tragedy is just too god damn jarring. We all knew they were raping people in Hollywood, but killing? That’s way too far to tolerate.

Hollywood Has No Respect For Its Workers

It’s common knowledge that these Hollywood types have no respect for the people who make their movies possible.

I mean, how many cameramen go hungry while he gallivants around doing a shitty Donald Trump impression? An impression so lackluster that it’d get you booed off stage if you didn’t have every cylinder of the PR machine working for you.

Bloodlust begins or an accident?

So he’s taken a life, will he do it again? If this time wasn’t on purpose as he alleges then will the next time be intentional?

Can anyone trust Alec with a fire arm anymore?

If his net worth were on par with a janitor wouldn’t he be sitting in a cell?

So will he actually face any consequences for putting bullets into another human being?

Let me put it this way: If you or I walked into work and said “IT’S A BLANK FAKE GUN” and started unloading clip after clip from our uzis then we’d be fired. HR would have a field day with that, but in Hollywood it’s every day life. They call it “acting” and “theater”, hah, I’ve seen a play once and I didn’t much care for it. Peter Pan is overrated and so is Mr. Alec “Gun Free Zone” Baldwin.

Affluenza againza?

Alec has spent his whole life playing pretend, are we seeing his true nature? He did interviews and to me he seems like an unremorseful murderer who put menthol into his tear ducts to induce crying for a photo op.

That’s how they do it on the sets of Hollywood. You don’t think crying was a real skill do you? WRONG! Look it up.

If you can’t cry on command you get blasted in the eyes with a mentholated chemical that makes you cry like an onion spat in your face. The searing pain sends tears down your cheeks and all of a sudden you’re an Oscar award winning actor screaming for your god to give you mercy.

Don’t Be Evil!

So Alec might be evil, we had our suspicions but now we cannot think anything else. He’s played his fair share of villains with no conscience and it’s also common knowledge that if you’re a certain caliber Hollywood just hires you to be yourself.

For example, allegedly innocent man Jack Nicholson has played Jack Nicholson in every single movie he’s been in. His range is Jack Nicholson or Jack Nicholson crazy.

Alec is similar, he played an out of touch company man in 30 Rock and to say that would be a stretch for Alec would be lying.

The man lives in an ivory tower of yes-men, publicists and LA weirdos kissing up to him everywhere he goes. I believe he goes home at night and looks in the mirror and wonders why God is aging so horribly. But now he probably feels good about the scandal because everyone is talking about their favorite Baldwin!

Are you there Satan, it’s me, Alec?

Someone online said Satan was to blame. Was Halyna Hutchins part of Alec’s sick Satanic sacrifice? A blood price he had to pay in order to repay the devil for his fame?

I mean I still don’t understand how he’s famous. He was the worst actor in everything he’s ever done. He must have made some bargain with someone for something.

So what exactly is everyone laughing at? This needs more exposure…it deserves a slot on “Realtime.” Alec is suspicious, but this is all speculation. What we need to know is: Was he drunk that day? If not could he control himself if there was alcohol involved? Does Alcohol help Alec be funny?

I am fearful of Baldwins now

I can’t help but lay awake at night wondering if Alec Baldwin might shoot me someday. I don’t work in movies but with the way things are going, I might have to.

Then I’ll come face to face with the human swiss cheese maker himself, Alec Baldwin. His gruff demeanor will scare and frighten me my first day on set. He approaches me, gun in hand, ready for the next scene, and says “Hey buddy, craft services are for people who work on this here motion picture. What exactly do you do here?”

Then I awake in a cold sweat, it was just a dream, a horrible dream but I look up and it’s Alec Baldwin standing above me in my own bedroom, gun in hand. A grin spreads across his face and it’s the last thing I see. Then I awake in cold sweat, but it was just a dream, a horrible dream and Alec Baldwin still isn’t in jail.

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Writer/Contributor. Likes working out, drinking slime, and hassling nerds.