We Generated Art And Now We’re Artists

Art is for everyone now, did you hear? AI can make it now, so that means you made it!

Look ma, no hands!

So you saw Basquiat on basic cable, saw the tragic ending and now you want to be an artist. Great! We have algorithms for that in 2022. Yes there’s a GAN for that!

Simply just type in who you want to be eating spaghetti and you’re an artist. Perfect for making NFTs, polluting the internet’s art channels and giving The Verge something to talk about rather than the next iteration of the iPhone!

Fine art, or the finest art?

In the past an artist would have to study art, study technique and master their body and their mind. BORING! How about just type in ‘Bob Ross Eating Spaghetti On The Moon’ and now you’re officially better than Mr. Bob Ross himself. If that is his real name!

Bob Ross eating spaghetti on the moon. Fine art, for sale. 10 million firm.

Throw your paintbrushes away, ask your art college to burn itself down, and fire up DALLE 2 or MidJourney and watch your art career blossom.

Watch as many discord users ask you to make different celebrities eat spaghetti.

That is because DALLE 2 and MidJourney don’t make as many nightmare creatures as their public counterparts. Yes, anyone who isn’t in the beta is a peasant!

So much food, so little time

OpenAI advises you using your coveted beta access for good like seeing how many of the NBC Friends cast can fit in a spaghetti bowl.

Man AI is amazing. You can see so many types of spaghetti and so many distorted humanoids eating said spaghetti. The future of art is bright. I love spaghetti more than green cheese.

AI makes me a specialist

Give me AI now or my anger might result in black hat hacking into any part of the servers and releasing R. Kelly back into the wild so he may find another victim. Say, I wonder what it’d look like if R. Kelly ate spaghetti. Thanks to high powered computation cards in data centers worldwide we can now find out.

Infinite NFT Mona Lisas

Artists, you have been replaced!

Now that we can generate infinite NFT Mona Lisas, isn’t it about time to let me take a hot piss on the original after a night of chicken wings and cheap beer?

I mean Da Vinci was obviously into art while he held out for AI to take his job and render him a fucking boring loser with a lame beard who tries to pilot a broken helicopter. Kobe, called with a ouija board and he wants his job back.

So next time you feel inspiration strike be sure to type in who is eating spaghetti, or maybe be a maverick. Maybe Tony Danza is eating Ramen in a sports arena, that’d be a cool art piece.

So is it art or is it a scam?

Is AI generated art actually art? I have no idea, I hope we all will be touring city museums next summer getting that sweet gallery cash from the one rich person left on earth who hasn’t heard about this technology.

Standards are good (for the company)

Let’s forget all about a company called “OpenAI” keeping everything closed source and look at this funny picture of someone eating beans! Yes! The British love beans because it gives the Queen her farting powers.

It seems every nation in the world wants to see a different celebrity eating a different type of food. I prefer celebrity endorsed products just like I support celebrity endorsed brutality.

The next time someone says “AI art isn’t actually your art you just used an algorithm to generate it” you show them a picture of Barrack Obama eating a slice of pizza and say “check mate dumbass“. You can do what you want because you’re an artist now. Artists do what they want, and they’re sexy while doing those things.

They get respected instead of ridiculed. They don’t even need to wear their tank top and Wolverine claws to the grocery store, bub!


UPDATE: HOURS AFTER OUR GLOWING REVIEW OF AI ART, CRAIYON RELEASED A BRAND NEW MODEL SO YOU CAN MAKE A MORE REALISTIC BOB ROSS EATING A MORE REALISTIC SPAGHETTI. THIS IS HUMAN PROGRESS IN A NUTSHELL.

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Fahgina

Writer/Contributor. Feminist. Hates Working Here.