Who Killed Bob Saget?

Bob Saget is dead? NOOO!!! He taught us all so many lessons on Full House. I guess we’ll have to sit in the corner and think about what we did without him now.

If you’re like me you immediately put on your tinfoil conspiracy hat and start to ponder “was Mr. Bob Saget murdered?” and “if Bob Saget was murdered, who killed him?”.

Well this is all speculation but we’ve got our theories. These aren’t just any theories they are tinfoil hat conspiracies so you know they’re extra special like a baked potato.

Who Killed Bob Saget?

Was it Bigfoot? Aliens? Lizards? Pterodactyls? Martians?? Well maybe some day we’ll now the truth. Until now we have to go over the evidence. He is dead, why would aliens want him dead? Was he hiding some secret technology?

The newspapers are very quiet these days as everyone seems to be hiding behind their tinfoil hats. Except FOX NEWS! Who else has motives to kill Bob Saget? When we look at the evidence it doesn’t make much sense. Let’s see…maybe there is something fishy here.

A pattern of events begins to emerge where this appears suspiciously close to a famous actor’s passing. Now let’s pause for a second before moving forward here because let’s face it nobody really dies unless something strange happens first.

Joe Rogan went looking for Bigfoot. Bigfoot caught his scent and is making his way toward Rogan by going after comedians! It has to be the truth! IT HAS TO BE!!!

Really? So here I’m reading that Bigfoot does not kill clowns?! There goes that theory! Who else could have motives? Is there anyone in Hollywood more famous than the late comedian Mr. Bob Saget? Maybe some lizardman?!

Lizards as you know hated America’s Funniest Home Videos because it was just so darn funny. They don’t even understand its humor because their lizard brains can only handle running the governments of the world! Follow the money! Follow that trail of pennies! FOLLOW IT YOU’LL SEE.

While all this conjecture plays out around town we must keep our minds focused on the mission at hand which will benefit millions of people! Each moment spent trying to uncover the mystery will surely put us two steps behind the lizards.

It is clear Bob Saget was an upstanding person whose thoughts and acts have left his soul behind. Surely they were willing to exploit him into his death, to screw with everyone’s minds with these endless memes! If the people had taken advantage of the opportunity the reptilian invaders wouldn’t have made billions selling fake, telepathic monster action figures like Smokey The Clown Scares Away Insects And Jack Daniels Thirst Quenchers!

Everyone should stop picking on the family and start asking the big questions. Did Bigfoot hire a lizardman hitman? Or perhaps it is evil reptilians from outer space invading the Americas. While this idea may seem far fetched as hell, keep in mind we saw a few movies and they scared the shit out of us!

How did Bob Saget really die? The world may never know!

There are actually lots of rumors around the urinal that Bob Saget got offed because he knew too much, either about stuff right under his nose or knowledge of beyond the portal to hell! His very last words to us before dying were one long sentence “Turn around Little Jimmy”. Could his passing have something to do with those god damned mafia wars?! Whatever happened to Bob, it certainly wasn’t easy for we Super Saget Fans to endure.