It’s True, Sucks (The Big One)

Alternative social network or cryptocurrency scheme? Why not both?


The founder of Minds made an appearance on the Joe Rogan Show recently. He made the case for his social network which is half baked to say the least.

The audience is mostly shunned right wing people who donned the dunce cap for too long and got banned for “their” opinion which seems to mimic the fringe GOP nutcases. Nothing against GOP nutcases but anyone who trusts politicians is a moron and should get a late term abortion on themselves.

UX Nightmare mode

The interface is not well done, I understand it but to a layman it’s convoluted. The entire user experience feels superficially functional but if they think they’re actually going to be a competitor they’re dreaming!

Too many tiers, too many add-on but separate products. Nothing they do is any better than the mainstream solutions nor any of the other alternatives. They seem to be outmaneuvering sensible intuition and in it’s place is mediocrity.

I’ll pay you to be my friend

They promise to pay you in their ETH based crypto (aptly) called MINDS, but only if you get some ratio of engagements. Great! Except none of the tumbleweeds seemed to find our posts no matter how many hash tags we used.

That is because the site sells boosts, much like big tech. Why would they do that? This is because they host video something that is regarded as startup suicide. Don’t believe me? Think about it, this is why YouTube has no viable competitor. Their most viable competition is Vimeo and they have to charge you for goodies YouTube hands to you for free (data please). They only let your posts get seen if you boost them with their crypto. Oddly your own views count just like racking up the visitors on your 1997 GeoCities home page about NASCAR.

The place for “discussion”

So the Minds guy (who probably rides a recumbent bike while extolling the virtues of chia sprouts in your smoothie from a loudspeaker) said they’re trying to be a place where people can have conversations and not just agree with each other or wholesale dismiss each other.

Sounds great, except we saw very little debate, and a lot of small town politeness.

There’s around 5 people total to follow you and you do not want to upset them! Very much like a small town it’s full of stupid people who prefer a slow paced living that only updates every 9 months or so when the leaves fall off of them trees over there.

Minds is the place for discussion they kept reassuring us on the Joe Rogan Happy Hour.

Drink your fucking hemlock already

OK, this would be like you’re hearing about Socrates and the forum where the great philosophers discovered the ideas that formed modern civilization and then deciding that your empty broom closet is exactly the same thing!

Just because you want something to be a certain way doesn’t make it happen. Business 101 is that your dreams often don’t match up with the reality of operating a business. You can’t operate on dreams and hopes!

Community, not the show

As someone who has been community building since bulletin board systems it was obvious to me they are in over their heads, not only technologically but they have no clue on how to build a real community.

Earning money for content turns the internet into a red light district. You want whores and drug dealers?

The internet in the early days was an altruist system based on power and access.

Minds gives you access to nobody, the conversations are as stiff as a dinner party with your grandparent’s Facebook friends, the memes are dated and moronic, and the whole site suffers from identity problems and a lack of vision besides: KACHING CENSORSHIP BAD DURRRRRRRRRRRrrrrr.

There was no discussion on any thread, even by their flagship personas and the entire site feels like a dying Facebook group that your semi-racist aunt started. It’s a ghost town and the people in the town have antiquated, ghost-like opinions that spook me to my bone, and not the funny one. Again if you want funny look elsewhere, since the memes were watered down to the point where a Sunday comic strip would have felt fresh and witty.


There’s a lot of talk about censorship but no one says what they were censored for. They’re against something that doesn’t affect them? We couldn’t tell but it’s very likely that their user base is staff posing as users.

Ignoring standards and better alternatives is overall useless and ignores standards set by Diaspora and Mastodon.

Unlike Mastodon, you can’t export your data. Unlike Mastodon, you can’t federate to other instances of the Minds platform. People actually use Mastodon, very much unlike Minds who couldn’t garner any kind of following after being on the biggest podcast in the world!

Guess what? No matter how many cryptocurrencies you cram into the thing, or how many friends you try to pay to work for your shitty lemonade stand, you still haven’t realized the obvious — SOCIAL MEDIA IS FUCKING DEAD. IT’S DEAD AND GREEDY FUCKS LIKE YOU KILLED IT.

Joe Rogan even says he doesn’t use your product even though he has a profile there. He says he doesn’t use any social media sites because of his profile thinking the toxicity is only extended to people in the ivory tower like himself. The guy you’re trusting to make your product trustworthy doesn’t even trust you with his time!


It isn’t biblical

This isn’t a David VS Goliath. Minds might represent David but they don’t stand a chance against Goliath (Big tech, duh). Social media isn’t a healthy ecosystem, no sir, it’s trying to place a foundation of community onto shifting sandbags while people try and make a buck for facilitating the cesspool we call social media.

See ya in the history books, losers

I guarantee your business model already looks bad but let me tell you Mr. that as you pivot and add more features you’re going to dilute your already identity-less brand. The fact you have any funding at all is a testament to how dumb the right wing gets when you bring up big tech censorship.

The web doesn’t need big tech and the web doesn’t need big tech wannabes like We need decentralized, federated and open source. Minds is open source, but so what? So is a lot of piece of shit software.

Alternative to alternating alternates

The alternative social network, but the alternative to what? If you can’t compete and you have less community than a forum about RPG wizards, then you’re not an alternative and nothing but an imitator. Replicating a vapid hellscape of bumper sticker witicisms and fake news. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR VISION.


I can’t wait to add you to the list of failed startups. Maybe instead of listening to yes-men you hire the staff at Mutant Bunker to tell you that you’re a fucking HACK!

Your product is dead in the water.

Best advice would be, Shut The Fuck Up And Get Real!

Joe Rogan Coyote Variety Time needs a gong to get rid of chumps like you! GONG! GONG! GONG!

Avatar photo


Writer/Contributor. Scholar of life.