Jon Hamm Is A Saint!

Did you hear Jon Hamm is a saint now?

Yep, he’s handing out money left and right!

He even gave up 60% of his inflated salary to make the art he claims to love. Is there anyone more deserving of sainthood than Jon Hamm?

Forgive them Jon, they know not their sins

No one would question Jon Hamm when they see him now, and the people are already coming together in their quest for salvation.

And it all started with a little show about materialism called Mad Men. You see before Mad Men all of the broke multi-level marketing goons had no one to be influenced by. Now everyone loves the asshole who makes good television.

Jon Hamm knows what people want, and that’s why he’s being so generous.

Generosity helped the cat in the cradle

“Take some money my child” he says as he puts a $1 bill into a child’s mouth during one of his impromptu sermons.

“My goodness this economy has put everyone into such a financial hardship. I will give you 50 cents,” Hamm adds then shoves the measly amount of cash into another poor bastard’s child’s mouth.

Sainthood APPROVED!

Wow Jon, real chivalrous of you. Your sainthood has been granted!

I am ordained by the power of the internet! BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL, I HAVE THE POWER!

I know what’s best for people and I must say Jon Hamm should be our savior.

Zero people cared until I gave up my paycheck

It seems like he gets paid too much for working on TV shows and how fortunate he is to receive such an astounding wage!

What a way to make your movie no one cared about known.

Next time I have a movie out (soon, soon) I’m giving up 420% of my salary so I can get in High Times magazine and talk to geniuses over there.

No money down

I think Jon’s idea is great. Don’t you agree fellas? Why do we deserve ANY money at all?!? We can eat nothing and sleep under bridges!

That’s the arts for you. You’re either filthy rich or living under a bridge doing shadow puppets for people who huff paint thinner. Or you live like us on the streets getting arrested!

At least Jon has chosen wisely because he can live like us now that he only has 45 million more dollars waiting for him in his bank account. Probably in a sweet account with tons of interest coming his way.

He probably likes the way the money smells in his giant vault of cash he swims in. This is what gives him his signature Hamm scent that all the ladies can’t get enough of.

Plus he was just voted Sexiest Man Alive by The Catholic Church, and let me tell you those guys aren’t impressed with false prophets!


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Writer/Contributor. Likes working out, drinking slime, and hassling nerds.