Your home is your castle, so why don’t you have a moat then? A burglar could just walk up and steal your house, take your titles and marry all of your children.
Ways to burglar-proof your home
All you need to keep away intruders are guns and vigilantism.
The House Shield – Full house shield that deploys when you shout HOUSE SHIELDS UP!
The Scarecrow defense – Motion detector attached to an automated gun turret that is connected to the internet. What could go wrong! Right IoT?
Honeypot – Watchful eyes in the attic waiting with scalding hot honey to pour on intruders as they come up the stairs to rummage through the safe.
Home invader tricks they use to rob and hurt you and your family
Just as there are ways to secure your home, burglars often use these tricks to invade your house.
The face off home invasion – They steal a loved ones face and use that to get your guard down. How you didn’t hear their face being peeled off is a testament to your sleeping pills.
The no good delivery home invasions – They show up unannounced carrying bags but there is no food or drink inside. Your door dash guy has gotten stoned before but not this stoned! Something is fishy here and it’s not the soggy fish and chips you ordered!
Delivered spy land mailings – You receive various samples of products, including you guessed it nice stuff crammed to the brim with GPS trackers and cameras so the burglars know when you’ve left.
It’s a mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad world
Stay safe, stay vigilante, stay armed to the teeth without any professional safety training.