Bought Every Ayn Rand Book So When Do I Become An Alpha Male?

You start reading them at the age of thirteen. Your dad was tired of your jerking off in the alcove in the hallway. He quit talking to you. You found Ayn Rand who taught you a new way of thinking but you just can’t nail this alpha thing.

You’ve taken every supplement Joe Rogan sells on his website but you can’t seem to regrow your hair or gain any crazy gorilla muscles.

You feel like a beta still and you wonder why….


Face the facts

There is no alpha male but there are beta males. That is you, you fucking sucker. You want to follow the advice of a bitter old woman to prove you’re a man? That is hilarious. Does your mommy tuck you in at night still? You know since you got a thing for old ladies.

Let me tell you about my favorite book it’s anything that Ayn Rand didn’t write. The Art of War by Sun Tzu is a much more appropriate choice for pricks like you.

Ain’t you never heard of the strategy game Go? No because you’re too busy playing checkers with your dick out in the sun.

Ok, we already established that anyone who looks to be an alpha is in fact a beta so you should take all of those Ayn Rand books and donate them to your local bonfire. She was a hack writer and you’re a rube for buying into anyone who is selling her shit ideals.

Everyone agrees with me

How did the New York Times sum it up? You’re just stupid. If I told you your dumb ass wasn’t going to get all offended I would be lying. Only betas get offended by text on a screen coming from a stranger.

Alright Ayn, we won’t let the fire go out!

Need proof? Go on Reddit. Go on Twitter. All betas, all the time.

Go read something else until you get over yourself. You’ll see I’m not wrong in my thesis, maybe one day you’ll grow a pair and listen when I tell you what life is really like. You want some objectivity? Grow a brain and think of your own thoughts.

YOUR OWN THOUGHTS. Not hers. You can’t just go on in life thinking that Ayn Rand was the biggest alpha male in existence. We all know the alpha male thing is a myth perpetrated by a flawed study.

To delineate the human experience into the hierarchy of wolves places you lower in the food chain than a human, you know?

So you are saying to the world “I am a dog, feed me a bunch of crude fat and pet me on the head and I’ll give you canine loyalty.” What a bunch of rubes.

Good riddance to smelly rubbish

Ayn Rand died the same way she was born, fucking helpless getting helped by other people. The world is not a god damn cowboy movie with John Wayne brushing off the dirt. You’re insane, like some beta in a fantasy land.

The world is a place where other men have brains that allow them to advance while you pine after some superficial pecking order bullshit. Grow up. Evolve. Even bugs are smarter than that!