People are leaving, Jerry. Is this cancel culture?
You heard it here first, Jerry Seinfeld caused students to walk out because his comedy is way too crappy even for a graduation speech!
HELLO JERRY
It’s unknown if Numan had anything to do with influencing the walkout but Kramer is no where to be found in the clips I’ve seen. I wonder how he feels about it?
Maybe they can give Kramer his highly anticipated Netflix special at long last.
NEW MATERIAL SAME AS THE OLD MATERIAL
Some of the jokes at the speech obviously didn’t go over well with those angry students. Like when Jerry Seinfeld quipped “We can all agree that high school is the best time to find a wife, right?”
Awkward silence. Then another classic joke was fired off from left field to a very unappreciative audience.
“What’s the deal with the age of consent any way? The Yankees play ball when there’s grass on the field! But seriously, shouldn’t it be like, 9 or so? Aren’t our brains fully developed at that point?”
STUDENTS ARE SMART TO HATE THIS MAN
Some students reportedly shouted “This speech is a load of crap!” as they walked out in protest. Others were just too busy browsing their phones during Jerry’s comedic monologue. They were all thinking the same thing – who gave this guy a platform?
I LOVE THAT SONG
The school’s band performed the classic Seinfeld bassline as he walked off and collected a handsome sum for his “entertainment”.
A source claims that Jerry Seinfeld was heard saying, “I knew they didn’t get me.” The source then added, “But you can’t blame them. They’re just a bunch of snot nosed brats, shitting their pants and eating Pokeyman cereals.”
Seinfeld then took his millions to buy some more sneakers and continue his reign as king of the comedic world, where dating a 17 year old when you’re pushing 40 is normal.
CONSEQUENCES FOR SOME BUT NOT OTHERS
To make things worse Jerry and Wonder Woman are here and they’re pissed. I can see them through my doorbell camera and they’re spitting on my porch. No one invited you, wouldn’t you feel more at home in New York City?
The last laugh was indeed had by those who left Jerry Seinfeld’s speech early. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out he’s famous for being not funny, but then again Jerry ain’t too bright. If I were an old timey phrenologist I’d examine his cranium with proper calipers and give the diagnosis that he needs to be lobotomized for being too much of a communist.
Maybe colleges hiring their donors to do commencement speeches isn’t the best look for the 21st century, or maybe I’m wrong and colleges harboring terrible people has never happened in the history of academia. After all, it’s not like they’ve invited known war mongering bigots to speak before.
“What’s the deal with Gaza? I don’t see any gauze there!”
