You’re An Idiot And Your Idea Will Never Work

That new idea you have, it’s dumb, ok? It’ll never work. Get over it. Now shut up. And stop talking about stupid things.

“This one guy just keeps saying my idea won’t work!”

Oh yeah?” says I, “Then why don’t YOU show me?”


Truth is no one can show me. They’re all talk. Ideas this, plans that, but when it comes time to show me your dragon boat with a projector for the sails, where are they? Exactly! All talkers. Nothing else. I have proven by experience (many times) that they don’t know what they’re talking about and therefor I can safely ignore their ideas.

Let me say right now give up on your dumb idea. Yeah the one where you think you could sell 5000 water-powered electric hovercrafts at $10,000 each! You’ll lose money on that deal and the liability costs outweigh the underwriting fees. Duh, you fucking idiot.


If someone asks you about your great idea don’t tell them. Just smile, and then get a job at your nearest dead end fast food establishment. You know their food is so bad they don’t call them restaurants, they call them stores. Then again you’d know this if you had ever worked there.

I’ve tried and was fired after 6 months because of my tendency to spew bile and turn tables into ashtrays on break, then when someone says “you’re taking a 2 hour break” slamming my head against the wall. Damn people just aren’t meant to be around me. Jerks.

Your ideas are dumb. We get it you have lots of them. Oh man do we get it! They’re not going to work and frankly most people find them completely uninterested. What do you think you are some kind of billionaire who gets to shove people around and eat children? No! Quit acting like a spoiled brat! We don’t care! Get over yourself.


So what should you do instead? Quit your dumb ideas and get back to digging ditches for the county. Those pay well, and I hear the view from the top of those holes isn’t half bad either.

Oh but you probably have an idea to fill the ditch with Jello and throw Bill Cosby in there to drown him to death. Stupid idea. Stay away from my ditches Bill Cosby killer.

You suck, no one likes your idea, it’s gonna fail, quit.

Avatar photo


Writer/Contributor. Feminist. Hates Working Here.