Howard Stern is CRYING Again

I never liked you Howard Stern, how does that make you feel? Feel like crying? Of course you do!

One fact you got to know about Stern is that he is very very emotional.

If you piss him off then he’ll most likely cry a lot and throw things at you like lamps or chairs, but not turn into a hulk or the hulk. There will be no hulking or any fun allowed at all when Howard is around.

Big list of some situations where Howard will most likely break down into tears

  • A song that reminds him of Artie Lange farting on his sandwich every day
  • Telling him that you would love to see his tits as he jumps up and down for petty cash
  • Realizing that if he had learned to play guitar instead of just standing behind it, maybe then he could learn the ways of rock and roll
  • Showing him your refund for the movie Private Parts
  • Telling him his pink sweater isn’t manly
  • Your coworkers telling him to go away when he walks into their office
  • Saying that you pwned his mom in Call of Duty
  • Memories of his dad giving him shit over his music collection
  • Anyone using the word “hobo” in front of Howard
  • Someone laughing too loud at the station while he’s doing an interview
  • Seeing AI generated photos of Pat O’Brien wearing women’s clothing
  • Being reminded of when he dropped acid and thought he saw a buffalo and it turned out to be a cardboard standee of Buffalo Bill in drag
  • Hearing Billy Joel sing “Piano Man” again
  • Listening to The Offspring – Self Esteem album in its entirety without having anyone call out sick to work
  • When someone mentions the whole Letterman thing
  • His hairpiece showing through his hat that is actually more fake hair
  • Incessant internet critics who pretend to be really intelligent and yet they still are not funny
  • His ex-wife
  • He hates episodes of The Simpsons, but only the old ones. He loves the new ones!
  • If somebody makes fun of the Statue of Liberty. He thinks it’s ugly
  • Not wearing suspenders to the market

So there you have it. Now you know to avoid Howard Stern because if you do see him around ordinary people, he’s probably weeping because someone forgot to roll out the red carpet to the prune aisle. Be safe!

DISCLAIMER: This article contains humor satire which means this entire article was made up by an idiot and if you read it and are offended I apologize because it wasn’t supposed to offend you. But seriously BABABOOEY BABABOOEY HOWARD STERNS PENIS BABABOOEY BABABOOEY HILLARY CLINTON IS THE DEVIL

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Writer/Editor. Drinker of Soy. Eater of Soy. Lover of Soy. Don't judge.