Is Joe Biden Too Damn Old?

Is Joe Biden too old to run for president? Everyone keeps asking the question, but no one knows how to answer it.

If you admit Joe Biden is old, then instantaneously Trump appears on the iron throne in some sort of weird GOP black magick spell, that is if you’re to believe all the crazies online. The same crazies who say he seems as sharp as a tack. Funny how none of those people will let ol’ Joe drive very far. Must be because his elite race car driver DNA needs a break from operating the country on autopilot.

One thing is for certain there will be an election and it will be two candidates who fondly remember fire-hosing darkies down at the soda shop. The same outdated, old fashioned ideals that have lead-filled brains who like to rubber stamp wars they don’t understand.

What does the cadre of skeletons in the senate think? You can hardly hear over the jaunty boney laughter as Satan’s dark army passes yet another law giving the skeleton government more power over your healthcare choices. That flying bat creature is a super delegate.

What will 2025 have in store?

  • If you don’t like abortions you will be given one.
  • If you’re not gay, you are now.
  • If you were gay, welcome to straighthood.
  • If you’re a corporation please spew toxic chemicals right into this baby’s mouth.
  • If you’re in a labor union shut the hell up and take this fidget spinner as a thank you for 30 years of service.
  • If you have a dick, it is now a vagina.
  • If you have a vagina we’re gonna find an old cadaver toe and you can call yourself Joe.
  • If you don’t want tits, too bad.
  • If you want tits, too bad that’s elective.
  • If you are hungry try shutting the hell up and dying in a folded in half pose so we can cram more urchins per crematory session.
  • Rent too expensive? Try prison dick head.
  • Can’t work, jump right into this incinerator.
  • Under 18? Well the future is a bright and hopeful place full of opportunity and freedom. GET BACK TO WORK IN THE LITHIUM MINES!

It’s easy to see America and the world at large is headed towards a glorious trajectory of despotism, forced servitude, environmental destruction and outright cannibalism of fellow man, women and children.

The media has a huge boner for world war 3 and they can’t stop poking it at everyone despite us saying NO MEANS NO.

So light your red, white and blue sparkler because it’s election season. Remember things aren’t getting better, but we’re going to make them much much worse because the people who represent you think $10,000 is a lot of money. They would sell their grandma to a motorcycle gang pimp if it meant one more ride on the quarter powered rocket ship outside the Walmart.

So remember to get out there and vote and things will surely get better next year. Definitely don’t run for office or anything. No. Bad citizen. Back to the lithium mines!

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Writer/Editor. Drinker of Soy. Eater of Soy. Lover of Soy. Don't judge.