Neal Brennan wants you to know he’s not a little bitch anymore. He’s dried his man sized tears using fistfuls of his millions of dollars, and now after some expensive tea, he’s ready to get back into the game.
He’s been doing stand-up for a while now, but now he’s not sad about it. We’re very happy for Neal, really, but there’s just one thing. Your comedy special was supposed to have jokes in it.
I KNOW WHO YOU ARE
We get it, you were sad. We get that you worked with Dave Chapelle, you won’t quit bringing it up every five seconds, and we get that you’re rich. But now you’re a grown man, and you need to grow up. You might be trying to be funny, but you’re just being boring.
CRY ME A RIVER, OLD MAN
Do you think standing on stage and doing a little therapy is a hobby for rich guys? Maybe take some of that clout and find some new comedians to promote? There are tons of up and coming people out there, you don’t need to be hogging up the limelight until you hit 90 like the fucking Rolling Stones.
Stand up comedy requires you form opinions or observations and write jokes around them. What I saw in your latest special was not ‘crazy good’, no it was ‘crazy lazy’.
Regurgitated internet opinions to relate to us plebeian civilians who don’t know the awesome life of having Dave’s phone number.
NO HOMO?
It’s weird watching someone who looks like they’d be managing a book store with his life partner, stand on a stage and pretend that they’re funny for such a long duration.
Hasn’t anyone heard? Netflix killed comedy. So to come to us and present this ‘special’ as anything but you getting paid for therapy is a crime against the art form.
In every comedy club there’s a comedian who would kill to have $10,000 and all these old guys keep hogging up the million dollar pay days with their alleged “artform”.
Everyone knows a comedian funnier than a professional comedian but for some reason the entertainment industry is still paying the big bucks to the same few people.
IT’S A BIG CLUB AND YOU AIN’T IN IT
At least George Carlin had the sense to die after a career of holding feet to fires. What has Neal Brennan ever done except make fried chicken jokes for a show that racist milquetoast America still quotes?
The whole thing is alienating and it’s sad you even got that close to Dave. I hope Netflix doesn’t decide to make you another deal because I can’t watch you any more. It seems odd that a successful man into his 50s doesn’t have children and leans heavily into knowing his one black friend who he probably only sees a couple of times a year. It’s all a little weird.
JUST ROOMMATES
I hope him and his “roommate” and life partner have a very successful bookstore with their exotic cat named Lucien.
Maybe one day Neal will write a joke about how much he loves Lucien because the internet loves cats and Neal has seen the internet. Maybe he’ll do something about his love of cats, but I doubt it. He’s just trying to sell us some books in a quirky gentrified small town.
ANYONE IS FUNNIER
Meanwhile the guys actually making audiences laugh will have to go back to their day jobs because Dave and friends hog all the money. I mean come on! We’ve heard enough of Dave’s lazy rich guy jokes! I can’t listen to it anymore. The world is already overstocked with them. Fuck off you mediocre fuck.
Hey Dave, be a good culture warrior and go rant about trans people and call up your not gay friend Neal. Maybe that’ll help him feel like he’s got some worth as a human being.
CRAZY GOOD? MORE LIKE CRAZY BAD. THIS IS WHAT REAL COMEDY LOOKS LIKE, NEAL!
